New stage in life

I had a hysterectomy

I never wanted to be the mom. When we were kids, all the girls squabbled and fought over who should be the mom. But not me. Ohw no, I always wanted to be the shopkeeper, the baker, the police officer or anything else there was available, but never the mom.
While most teenage girls fantasize about their wedding and having a family, I always dreamed of a big career where I traveled the world and made a difference. When most of my friends got married and had kids in our 20’s and 30’s, I could not understand why they would want that. I had relationships, but everytime the subject of having kids came up, I said I didn’t want any. Needless to say that that was a dealbreaker in most of the relationships, because most men want to build a family. I have always had strong feelings about the subject and nothing and nobody could change my mind.

I hated having my period. I got my first one when I was 13. It was horrible. My mother had prepared me well for the changes I would have and what I might experience when having my period. She never had any problems, not even cramps, so I thought it would be easy for me. That is far from the truth. My period came without a warning, no spotting the first few days like other girls. My first period lasted 13 days and my mom was really worried. The doctor said it would be ok, but it never got any better. Heavy bleeding and cramps every month made me fear that time of the month. The doctor prescribed the pill, he said it could help regulate my hormones and make periods easier. And it did for a while, but my body did not react well to the hormones and I stopped using them. When I was 19 I went to a gynecologist and he said I had some polyps in my uterus and he removed them. I hoped that that would be the end of my menstrual issues, but when he said they could grow back I almost panicked. A year later my mom had a hysterectomy, because she had a whole forest of uterine fibroids and they were giving her problems she never had before. I asked the doctor if it was possible to do the same procedure on me and he laughed and said that I was too young for this kind of procedure. Maybe I would meet a nice man and get married, how would I give him any children (as is it was some sort of gift).

For 20 years I have been asking multiple doctors a to perform the surgery on me, they all responded the same way. You are too young and what if you meet a man who wants kids. How are my age and a man the ones to determine what happens to my body? I was the one with the 10 day periods every 3 weeks with a lot of blood loss, cramps and other problems… and I endured it. Until last january. I will share the whole story about what happened in another post, but long story short, after what seemed like endless visits to so many different doctors my gynecologist (a new one, not the one that wanted me to find a husband and have kids) found a large fibroid hanging outside of my uterus. Apparently it got inflamed and well … I went through a lot of pain. To remove it I had to have an operation, but that didn’t ensure me that I wouldn’t get them again. I asked if a hysterectomy would help and she said yes. We had a few conversations, scheduled the operation and it all went well.

People say that having a hysterectomy was a bit excessive to deal with menstrual issues, and maybe it is. But if you have dealt with issues since your teenage years, the issues have worsened and know that you don’t want to have kids … It was the choice I made. Recovery is not easy, especially not the first few days, but every time I think that it’s hard, I think of all the things to look forward to. No more cramps, no more blood stains, no more pregnancy scares and much more. I push forward, because I know it can only get better from here. Normally, this week my period should have started and for the first time in 27 years … I feel free!